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I’m not dead. Heaven forbid I should become one of those teeny-bopper rumors we all heard in high school (I think the big one that really impacted me was that Mark-Paul Gosselaar had died…if you know me at all, you probably know that I’m a huge Saved by the Bell fan. Go ahead and make fun of me, but there’s no way you’ll EVER beat me at SBTB trivia).
So, it’s been a while. A LONG while. And, frankly, I don’t have much to account for my absence other than the semester from hell. I’d tell you about it, but it would only throw me into a foaming-at-the-mouth rage witnessed by few, and only comparable in nature to the time Sarah Palin mocked community organizers at the Republic National Convention. Well, either that, or the time FOX cancelled Arrested Development.
I have, no doubt, lost readers, but I want to thank those of you who’ve kept up with me from time to time. Your support has not gone unnoticed!
However, I am back to regain my journey. I made a significant dent by losing 30 pounds. I haven’t stepped on a scale lately, but the fact that I don’t want to should tell you something. The time has come to re-engage my goals and get serious about them.
When I started this, I realized that I might fall a couple of times. In fact, of the stories I had read of really successful weightloss, many had to lose and regain several time before the true success took place. If this is one of those times, so be it. I’m ready to get back to it, and I’m ready to share my endeavors with you again.
I went for a run last week and it felt really great. I need to remember the fact that I can do it. That the despite the fact I weigh…what I do…I AM A RUNNER. I need to be grateful that I can use my legs to carry my corpulent body a few miles in under an hour…and I need to use that to get me back on track.
Who’s with me?
Geez, before I start, I almost feel like I should change shoes and put on a cardigan (ala Mr. Rogers)…
Perhaps one of the more redeeming things I have gained from this brief weight loss experience along with the desire to become a runner is the fact that I have found so many amazing and supportive people along the way. I know I’ve said things akin to this before, but it astounds me how I can make personal goals, open up to the world about it, and have a blogger friend or two cheer me on. I love it. There is much kinship and camaraderie to be shared, and I have been the benefactor of much of it…and to all those who’ve given me ‘virtual’ pats on the back, I sincerely thank you.
Some time ago, John wrote an open letter to his wife in which he revealed his fantastic weight loss blog. It was earnest, honest, and touching. I am a big fan of John’s and try to read his blog every day. I’ve never met John, but I look forward to reading all that he does. I have high hopes for his goals and am thrilled when he succeeds. The same goes for numerous others like Andrew, Annette, Matt, Courtney, Will, Elisa, Sharon…basically my entire blogroll. We’re all very different people…some of us have similar motives, while others differ, yet we have one thing in common: GOALS. We all have goals–more or less–to become better people.
I often think, then, why do we have a hard time applying the well-wishes we so freely give through cyberspace to real life, face-to-face interactions? Maybe I should back up…you all might already do that…you probably do…but I will be honest…sometimes things like envy, jealousy and even depression get in my way. And, unlike John, I haven’t exposed my goals to most of my family or friends. I haven’t tested the waters to see if I’ll get encouragement that I believe I so desperately need. The family and friends who do know about this blog have been extremely supportive…so why can’t I man up and tell everyone else?
Honestly? It’s because I love you all too much. My readers who give me what I need to keep going. The simple compliments, the amens, the mad props…whatever it is…keeps me going. Friendly strangers, blogging friends who have come through in the support area…I’ve tested the waters here, and it feels safe and secure (believe me when I say this isn’t an invitation for current readers to turn on me 
).
It addition to readers here, I’ve joined other online communities that I really love (some of which I’m going to profile in the near future). My online communities have been fantastic…but I need to springboard a little more into reality. I need to open up the desires of my heart to be a healthier me to my family and friends. The time has come to reveal some big plans to them. I may get doubt from some…but in November or December of 2009, or maybe January of 2010 when I cross the finish line of whatever marathon I run with my friend Aaron and I lose the remaining 5/6 of my weight goal…hopefully I will give the doubters a reason to believe in me again.
At my most recent weigh-in, I discovered that I have now lost just over 22 pounds. I now weigh just over 347 lbs. I will never (and don’t think I’m going to recant or think about slip ups here), never weigh 350 lbs. again. I have spent more time running in the past three months than I probably ever have at any one point in time.
As I watched the Women’s Olympic Marathon with my wife, we learned that one of the Chinese runners favored to medal supposedly ran over 700 miles a month. To me that’s amazing…nothing short of a miracle.
But then again, so is someone who used to weigh 370 lbs. who finally got off his ginormous butt to do something about it.
I might only run 30 miles a month right now, but I can honestly say that for the first time in my life, I have finally impressed…myself.
My wife is the champion of this household. I can say that with confidence after she brought our little boy into the world. We went into the hospital at 11 a.m. on Wednesday, and on Thursday afternoon at 1:12 p.m. little boy finally arrived weighing in at 6 lbs. 9 oz. and measuring 19.75 in. I love this little boy…
Needless to say, my running suffered this week, but really, I didn’t care…I had the best excuse in the world. My sister-in-law, along with a great quilt she made, sent these “Little Runner” socks that look like running shoes for him. I thought to myself, if there are just a handful of things I hope to pass on to him…running is definitely one of them. My dad was a long distance runner when he was young…this is something I didn’t know until I was much older and overweight. My son is my motivation for all of this! I hope he’ll learn to love it as much as I have when he gets older.
Couch to 5k continues…I had a great run yesterday and am looking to get some serious training done as the first 5k is in three weeks…I’ll be sure to keep you updated!
Wednesday morning I woke up feeling (and probably looking) like a chubby Keith Richards.
It was the first time in the six weeks I’ve been doing this that I deliberately decided I wasn’t going to run in the morning. Maybe I was adjusting to the time change from our trip, but I just wasn’t having it. After a somewhat crappy day, I decided I wasn’t going to miss a day of my program so long as I was healthy and able to run, so I went out in the evening.
I didn’t have any plans in mind other than to do what Couch-to-5k asked for that week. I tried my first five minute interval, and it wasn’t quite successful. I managed four minutes, walked for 45 seconds, and then ran another minute. After the other intervals, I walked for a while and then on the way back home, I felt a new kick of energy and decided it was time to try again. I didn’t look at my watch, and my music was too loud to hear the time go off, but the time was all zero’s when I checked it.
I’ll be darned. I ran for five minutes straight.
On top of that, I was able to do 3 miles in exactly 45 minutes. Needless to say, I was highly satisfied!
Initially, I wasn’t going to push it, but as I was approaching mile one, I saw two firefighters from the nearby station running toward me. Anytime I run past someone, I usually greet them and pause my music so I can hear. I did so, and they both kind of nodded and smirked. “Dude looks like he’s gonna die,” one of them said as they passed, “maybe we should run him in…ha ha ha.” Great, I thought…these ripped Mario Lopez and John Cena lookalikes just mocked me…and that’s all the motivation I needed to turn it up a notch. I went out again this evening and did it again. Believe me when I say, I am on cloud nine…
Furthermore, I happy enough knowing that I don’t have to compete with Slater and a pseudo-wrestler…my wife is more than content picking this sweaty guy over anyone any day…
Am I blessed, or what?
In the past six or so weeks that I’ve been blogging my health and exercise updates, I’ve become keenly aware of the people and things I have been influenced by, for better and for worse. In 27 years, I don’t know that I’ve been involved in anything so life-transforming as the past six weeks. Surely, some might doubt that, and that’s okay, but let me break it down in terms of some ‘causality’ that my little journey is experiencing…
I am happier than I’ve been in a long time. I have more energy. I have a more positive outlook on life. I have spent years being skepitcal and nonchalant about exercise. But let’s face it…the hardest thing I have had to admit is this: I am was lazy. Nobody ever likes to admit that. Now, that’s not a universal laziness…there were some things that took a rather high priority with me that I ensured never fell by the wayside. Such an example would be my schooling, which, for the most part, I have always taken very seriously. Some time ago, a friend of mine asked, “Why can’t you apply that same drive you have for knowledge to your health?”
Sadly, I never thought about it before, thereby making me realize it had never been that important.
What?!
Seriously, I needed to change. And the time was then, is now, and will be in the future. This is not a fad diet. This is not me slimming down to look good for a 10 year reunion. This is for life.
Having more energy will allow me to work more efficiently and will allow me to accomplish more, and in turn will hopefully make me a better husband and father, a more productive scholar, and hopefully a better friend. Losing weight and exercising…let’s face it..the more of that I do, the longer I have on this earth. I really do believe it to be that easy.
I have had so many inspirations and good influences that it would be nearly impossible at this point to stop and ever go back to my old self. You — readers, friends, family — have all been of tremendous positive influence, and I can’t thank you enough. My initial design was to keep this blog on the down low and not share it with any friends and family. Believe it or not, I was embarrassed…only of myself…because so many people have seen me fail, I didn’t want this blog to chronicle yet another flop. But I’m invested. I’ve heard from many of you through comments, blog posts, e-mails, etc. on how I’ve inspired you in some way…and it is so very humbling. All I can say, is thank you for believing in me, but more importantly, thanks for believing in yourself and recognizing that you too…anyone…can make these changes. I promise you they will be well worth the challenges, pain, tears, frustration, anger, difficulty…and sheer joy of what you can accomplish.
You will not see me flop. You will see me succeed. I will be challenged, but I will seek creative ways to overcome obstacles. I will move more, eat better, improve, and dammit, I will endure like I never have before.
Thanks to all of you who have inspired me and influenced me for the better. Thank you for not giving up on me, and for continuing to cheer me on.
And even those of you who lost track of me, who aren’t reading this, who made fun of my weight as a kid…thanks for your juvenile remarks and cowardice. They only made ME stronger.
The time is now 3:04 EST. Who’s up for a run?
Else, where would I be in this fight to drop pounds and get healthy?
The one thing I have absolutely treasured in the past five weeks is that not one person has told me, “No, you can’t.” I had a soccer coach in middle and high school who would make us run laps if we ever used the word ‘can’t.’ I learned early on that it was not taken lightly, and after a decent amount of laps due to that violation, I learned to keep my mouth shut and just do it.
For the most part, I have eradicated the word ‘can’t’ from my vocabulary.
Now, I do know my limits, but rather than say that I can’t do something, I just postpone it…or rather, make it a long-term goal. Truth of the matter is, I can do most of what I’ve set out to do. Even with this week’s setback of struggling with the five minute interval, I’ve realized I just need a little more time. I know I can do it.
I have been doing my best to eat well while we’ve been traveling. There are some really good cooks in our family, especially my sister-in-law who makes quite delicious white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. They have been hard to resist, and I’ve only had one so far, and I fear that will be my limit. However, a plus to being in Nevada these past few days is all of the runners and walkers we have in the family. We’ve hit the track the past fews days – my mother-in-law, two of my sisters-in-law, and myself – in an effort to “keep on a goin’” as we like to say. They’re all really great motivators, and are pretty disciplined. I get lapped by each and everyone one of them, but that’s okay…someday I’ll be able to keep pace with them.
So, odds are, I will repeat Week 4 of the Couch to 5k into Week 6 of my training. Geez…just thinking that I’ve kept up with this for six weeks still floors me, but I know the repetition will be well worth it.
When we get back to Georgia, I’m a little worried about the next month. I’ll be starting classes again, my boy will be born shortly, and I have several projects that need some dire attention. I have a conference in Florida to go to in September, not to mention a work trip back to Arizona. Things are going to get crazy busy, and I feel that I have a huge challenge ahead of me in trying to maintain my training while I start to get busy with life again.
Can I do it??
I think I can.
I have been tagged by Andrew from Andrew is getting fit!
And, I might say, I think this is a great topic to be tagged on. It seems as if there are numerous things I could call a vice in terms of health and fitness, and I’ve had difficulty in pinpointing what could be the biggest or worst of all of them.
I don’t smoke (my mother did for over 20 years and it revolted me), or chew tobacco (my father did/does and I was equally repulsed by it). I don’t drink (too many alcoholics in the family) and I’ve never tried any drugs (unfortunately, I’ve got loved ones who are substance abusers, and its just not for me). So, I think we can cross all of this ‘big’ stuff off the list.
When I really think of it, I think the biggest health and fitness vices I have are: 1) doubt and 2) carbs.
Doubt. Yes, doubt. Doubting that I can accomplish what I want to. Doubt that I could actually lose weight and learn to live a healthier life. Doubt led me to quit anything, which in turn led to depression, which led to weight gain. Hell of a lot of good doubt did me. And it’s weird, because I was and am still competitive. I was an athlete in high school. I played football, basketball, soccer (yes, believe it or not), golf and threw the shot put and discus. But through it all, the doubt won, my weight fluctuated, and what can I say? I got fat.
Carbs. When I was most recently living in Arizona, I saw a nutritionist who’s response to nearly everything that went wrong was, “Ohitsdefinitelythecarbs!” She really did talk like that, by the way. But it was frustrating to accept that answer, though she was more than likely right. I don’t load up on much fat, sweets or salty things. I eat meat sparingly (and after living in Georgia and seeing the gigantic chicken transportation trucks, I’ve wanted to quit altogether…but I won’t). But, I love bread, I love pasta, I love potatoes, I love grains…the list goes on and on, and I just hear Debbie rattling off, “Ohitsdefinitelythecarbs!“
The great carb debate came about on Saturday when a couple of other guys and I went to give a little bit of service to a Vietnam vet in some pretty bad condition (cancer, super-emaciated…down to 97 pounds). One of the guys cleaned his house, while another cleaned his yard, and I took him in to town for some errands. The first thing he said to me once in the car was, “You have to stop eating carbs after 3 p.m. God knows we’d hate to lose you so young.” Wow…two minutes into our relationship, and I get hit with this bomb. I wasn’t too shocked though…I’ve heard things like this most of my life. Like when I lived in Italy…a woman whose house we painted, Ines, just stared at me (while speaking to someone else as if I were deaf or not there), “Ma, dai…questo qui deve dimagrire subito…e’ troppo ingrassato!” Which more or less means: Come on, this one here needs to slim down immediately…he’s too fat! I wasn’t nearly as big as I am now, not to mention her son was much bigger than I am. I was reluctant to paint her house after that comment, but did it anyway. Afterward, she fed us lunch as kept pushing a plate of bread and cheese at me. “Mangia,” she’d mutter as if she didn’t really mean it.
I lost it. I told her I wasn’t a circus freak, and I hopped on my bike and left.
For those of you who recall, I actually lost a lot of weight while in Italy (only to gain it back of course — you can read that earlier post HERE if you’d like).
So, plain and simple…I’ve stopped doubting myself. I have a great network of supporters who help me a great deal, not to mention more motivation than ever to help me make these changes. Carbs and I will be at war for a long time. I’ve done a decent job at managing them for the most part over the past 25 days, but I am prepared to educate myself on how they should best be consumed for me. It will be a battle that will last a long time, but I know that there’s a strategy for winning the war…
I think that a lot of hard work in these two areas will definitely help make a better me.
OK, I tag:
And anyone else who might want to give it a whirl!
Well, I needed a little downtime yesterday to get some thoughts together, and have come to the conclusion that I will definitely repeat a week or two of the Couch-to-5k program. This morning I went out and did 2.5 miles with a 14:44 pace…a personal best up to this point, and a major improvement from the 16:07 I recorded just two days ago. These things take time, I know, and that’s why I’m willing to invest more time to improving and getting more comfortable with running.
Today I went back to the 60s run/90s walk intervals and it seemed to work in my favor time and distance wise. I don’t know if I’ll do that next week, but I just might. I haven’t made up my mind yet, because I want to work on the 90s run/120s walk intervals, and try to improve. But if something works in my favor–how long should I stick with it before I move on to the next step?
Either way, I feel pretty darn good about a longer distance and shorter time. A thankful shout out to MizFit for the inspiration to get over my bad day the other day and make this one much better!
Now for something a little different…
***
You all are going to think I’m nuts, but bear with me for a second.
This whole weight loss/running/health/self-improvement thing has provided a lot of emotions for me lately (maybe a little too much). You have to understand that I’m having a hard time believing that my body or weight could ever change, despite the fact that I am, in fact, running and losing weight. I can’t afford to give up…I really just can’t. So, I heard a song today very atypical to my listening pleasure that nearly brought me to tears.
What song could that possibly be, you ask? No, not Eye of the Tiger or any other Rocky song, and no Chariots of Fire…
Bet On It sang by Zac Efron (as Troy Bolton) from Disney’s High School Musical 2.
It’s okay, you can laugh. I give you permission, because it is funny, but I listened to the words and they just touched a nerve…here’s a small sampling:
I’m not gonna stop, that’s who I am
I’ll give it all I got, that is my plan
Will I find what I lost?
You know you can
Bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it
(Bet on me)
I wanna make it right, that is the way
To turn my life around, today is the day
Am I the type of guy who means what I say?
Bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it
And the video clip in it’s full glory (you’ll definitely find this funny…perhaps the mirror effect when he’s singing at the pond?)
Video length: 3m19s
For a guy who typically has a very eclectic taste in music and movies, I can’t say this song or movie is anywhere near my favorite, but it definitely asked the right questions.
As I’ve said before, I’m in this for the long haul. I will change. I will be healthy. I will lose weight. I will become a runner. I will kick fat’s ass like no tomorrow.
Am I the type of guy who means what I say?
Bet on it.
Cheesy, but true. Happy weekend, everyone!
It is, more than likely, that we get anything accomplished in our lives because we set goals. They may even be in your subconscious…you might not think about them, but we all make goals to get from A to B…or akin to the clip from What About Bob? – “baby steps.” However, Bob is breaking down…and for that matter, Dr. Leo Marvin is caving. Bob set small goals to get to Lake Winnipesaukee, but, in effect, implodes. It’s sometimes hard to avoid, but we just have to regroup and set more goals.
I, for the most part, am a very goal oriented person, however, when it’s come to my health and weightloss needs, I have not always been the best at setting goals. One of the biggest goals I’ve set in recent memory was to get into a top Ph.D. program in my field. And guess what? I did. Here I am. So, why in the name of all that is holy can I not stick to health goals? When will I realize that my health should be one of my top priorities?
I had a friend that passed through town back in November, and he put it to me quite plainly. Why can’t you just use the same mindset with your academic and professional goals as with your health goals? I knew the answer to that question, but it was one I didn’t want to admit to: I was lazy and I didn’t care enough. If I cared enough, I wouldn’t weigh in at just over 360. I wouldn’t be a prime candidate for diabetes. I wouldn’t care too much about the word ‘co-morbidity.”
We need goals, whether we want them or not. Here are a couple of ways, that I’ve found to be effective for me:
- Make your own goals. You know your limits, and odds are, you will be more inclined to follow through if you know what to expect. Major downfall here, though, is that you can cheat quite easily unless you get someone else to follow-up with you.
- Have someone else set some goals for you. Let’s face it: sometimes, we need to be told what to do. When my professors give me assignments, I do them. Sometimes it might not be the worst idea to have a fit friend help you in this area. It keeps you a bit more accountable and gives you an idea of what you should be (or should have been) doing in the first place. However, be sure its someone you feel comfortable with and can take a little bit of prodding. You don’t want to lose friends over exercise.
- Try a hybrid of goals. Okay, so why not do both? Set some goals for yourself and follow the regimen of someone else at the same time. Sooner or later you should be able to come into your own.
- Regardless, always get someone to motivate you or hold you accountable! I have found that when I involve the right people, I seem to be a lot more motivated. I know they care about me and I know they care about my well-being. I know that they just don’t flat-out hate fat people.
I’ll be the first to admit that I could always take a bit more of my own advice. I think that more often than not, when I write these things, it’s almost therapeutic and reminds me of what I should be doing or practicing what I preach.
As I have recently signed up on traineo, I can choose four ‘motivators’ (people, that is) that will get regular updates on my progress in order to help keep me focused and…well…er, motivated. I hope that I can choose those motivators soon, and will profile them on the blog.
So, with that, here is goal number one:
LOSE 115 LBS. BY JANUARY 1, 2010
Time to get started!!
About four years ago, I went to see a new doctor on the referral of a friend. “He can help you, I know he can,” was her earnest testimony of a man who evidently had a knack for curtailing obesity. Reluctant as I was, I was unsatisfied with my doctor at the time who was much more keen on flirting with the geriatric girls than helping an overweight kid salvage some of his life.
This new doctor – we’ll call him Dr. Genius – seemed to be nice, but was relatively quiet and didn’t talk a whole lot. After the usual BP, pulse, temperature, deep breaths, etc. he took a seat opposite me, paused a second and said very convincingly,
“You’re overweight.”
Now, while I tend to be quite the smart alec around those with whom I’m very comfortable, I could not help but to blurt out, “Uh, did you go to Harvard for that?” The look on his face didn’t change, and I apologized quickly and went into a five minute diatribe about how my weight problem was evident and that the stress I’d been dealing with at the time had more or less pushed me over the edge. He was gracious and understanding and after the appointment, I determined that Dr. Genius was not the one for me.
His statement, though true and completely obvious, was also a wake-up call (one of many). Was this something I had actually accepted? Did I look in the mirror and see something other than the reality of a pudgy body that only fit into 52″ jeans and 3XL shirts? Was I in denial?
It would probably be easiest to answer ‘yes’ to all of these questions despite the fact that I really don’t know. What I do know is that Dr. Genius was right. I am overweight. I am fat. And as much as I absolutely loathe this word, I am obese.
More than anything, I am using this blog as a tool to hold me accountable. There is a lot to establish in terms of my past health history. I can only assume that after reading this introductory post (if, in fact, it will be read), that some will form various assumptions. That’s fine by me. My only request is that you continue to read what I have to say and get to know me, my body, and what “we’ve” been through over the past several years. If I can use this as a way to get myself healthy, then I’ll have been grateful for doing it.
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